Superheroes have been a part of my life since I first started watching X-Men: the Animated Series as a kid. I wanted to be powerful and famous. I wanted to look great in spandex and represent the characteristic I wanted to see in the world. Let’s be honest, I wanted to be Superman.
I am not Superman. Not even close.
As I got older, I fell further away from this idea. I let myself put on weight. Health and fitness became something of a joke. I treated my body wore than a trash can. I turned myself into a bit of a mockery of the heroic ideal. I drank too much. I let my job define me. Exercise consisted of walking up stairs instead of taking an elevator. My passion of being a writer ebbed and flowed depending on my stress.
Sure, I made some of my dreams come true. I moved halfway across the country to live near New York City. By near, of course, I mean in New Jersey. I traveled the world with the money I made at my job at a pizzeria. I even reconnected with old friends in the last few years. No matter the dreams, I still let myself down.
A few weeks ago, I sat in the office doing paperwork and a realization swept over me. I could continue managing the pizzeria, but in the end, I would end up getting fired. The minor burning embers of passion fizzled. An hour later, I talked to my roommate and then talked to my boss. I put in my notice.
Then came the fear.
I️ was leaving my job. I had a second job bartending, but I knew one shift a week could not support survival let alone the thriving life I currently led. I had no money in savings. I had no back-up plan. What if my writing didn’t work out? What if I could not eat? What if…
Those fears did not matter. I had taken the first steps to changing my story.
Today, I am leaving my job. In the weeks between deciding to quit and now, I have picked up two more shifts at the bar. They also gave me some event planning responsibilities. I also really locked on to starting this blog, and now have it up and running.
As I stated in my first Doctor Who Review here, I am reconnecting with my past to propel me further. I have set myself up with a schedule of writing, working-out, and nerding out to promote the life I wish to become accustomed.
I am definitely not making the money I want to be making, but that does not matter. When I posted this blog on Facebook, I realized how happy I was to be working on something I love. This is my first step in the right direction. I am going to have some weak moments, but I will persist. I will become stronger. I will find out who exactly the superhero within is, and then I will truly be living the superhero life.