Lately, I have spent a lot of time whining.
For the 100 Days Healthier Me challenge today, I am supposed to be thinking deep about my goals and where I a headed. Right now, I think I’m headed directly down the toilet.
I am one step up from where I started back in November, and that is this blog and my writing. Everything else, I feel like I have taken fifty steps backwards. I will break things down into three categories, financially, health and fitness, and emotionally.
My finances feel like they’re in shambles. I do not have to pay student loans currently, because I do not make enough money working at the bar. That’s the only good thing. The bad thing is I have 1,500 dollars in an old credit card I need to pay off, 100 dollars in medical bills from early November, 1700 dollars in medical bills from 2015, another 4,700 dollars in medical bills for my tooth, and finally probably around 6-8 hundred dollars in medical bills from the infection I got on my face from falling. That’s about 9,000 dollars in bills that I just stumbled into because of a night of blacking out. Granted, some where there before, but I had been on my way of paying them of easily.
This also does not include going home next Christmas, my trip to New Orleans in March, or any other event I planned to do in the next year.
In terms of health and fitness, I weighed myself today. I am at the highest I’ve been since I lost all my weight the first year. I hit exactly 170.00 this morning. I have been to the gym only once this month, and my walking around has not really burned the calories it used to. It makes me feel horribly when I eat anything that isn’t exactly healthy.
Finally, my emotional health because of the above has put me on a new low. I am depressed. There’s no other way to put it. I am having doubles writing daily. I am doing my blog, but that’s all I’ve been doing. Everything seems just so futile at this point, and I place the blame on myself for the mistake of over drinking. It doesn’t help that both my nipple piercings have been bother me too. This has all left me feeling incredibly down and not sure how to pick myself back up.
I know I have to do it. It’s not like it’s easy, but I have to step up and do all this stuff. I need to pay for all this. I need to start working out. I need to stabilize my mentality. I need to do this. It’s not even a want. I have to do these things to survive the next year. If I don’t get the root canals on my front teeth, I am going to end up in a lot more pain than I currently am in, which is not a good thing. So, I start a payment plan that I can barely afford and do it.
I am going to have to micromanage the money, which is something that makes me a little uncomfortable. I have to quit drinking completely outside of ‘events’. I can drink when I’m in New Orleans. I can drink back in South Dakota. I can drink on both pride weekends and my birthday. Every day that isn’t those days is work.
These are my deep thoughts. I’m trying to get myself organized. I put money on a Starbucks card today hoping that it keeps me going for a couple weeks. I need to go buy some food and hopefully eat more at home. I need to clean my space at home in hopes of setting myself up for excellence. And today, I need to write to keep my career afloat. Let’s end the year on a high note, and let this just be another low one.
If you want to see more of the Advocate of Adventure’s healthy living ideas, her book, or just check her out. You can find out more here at the Advocate of Adventure.