Silence scares me.
And no, I’m not talking about the tall gray guys with the long faces from Doctor Who. I’m talking about the moment between words that leave an awkward feeling. I am talking about sitting alone in my bedroom without the television on. Silence leaves me only with my thoughts, and my thoughts linger to all the things I’m not doing or all the things that I could be doing.
Writing is as close I get to sitting and contemplating life. It is its own form of meditation. There’s a rhythm in the keys clicking, and my fingers dancing across them to form the sentences on the page. My thoughts going from my mind quickly down to my fingers and then on the screen. But, there is no silence.
The keys click. The music plays in the background. People interact with each other and talk. Voices overlap voices and I do not sit in any sort of silence. I still zone into the moments with the words, and push all the rest to the background to finish whatever sentence I am writing.
I have mentioned before how I am an extrovert. Actual silence does not bode well for me. Sitting in a room alone does not do well. I need something of the outside world to stimulate me and keep me busy. Even when I’m walking and exercising, I have music playing in my ears or Doctor Who audio dramas telling e stories. I am always moving, always thinking, always experiencing the world around me.
I can understand how other writers need the silence. The noise and the people pull their attention away from the task at hand. Other people just do not deal with people in the same way that I do. Introverts, I understand. Everyone has their own system of getting words on the page and I not only respect that I like to find out what that system is. Just cause it all doesn’t work for me parts might.
In one of my writing classes ages ago, my professor talked about talisman’s that we all have for writing. Writing is almost like a religious experience for some, and I would say that I am part of that. I have a certain pattern that promotes me to write the best. I have a seat at Starbucks. I have my coffee. I have my muffin. Then, I sit down and start writing. Having all these things makes it really easy for my words to flow. It’s a weird thing.
It’s probably why I have such a hard time writing at home. I have none of these things there. I’ve even thought of getting a coffee pot to do this. I would add making coffee and making my breakfast as part of this ritual I need to write. I do not have it yet. (If anyone wants to buy me a coffee pot, I’d be down). Right now, I have my ritual, I have my talismans, and I write.
Silence does not work well for me to get my head on straight. Writing does. It’s funny how focused on I am now that I write and post these blogs every day, which is probably part of the focus that Charmaine wanted me to do today. It’s nice. It also helps you find out a little bit more about yourself, which is great to propel you towards awesomeness.
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