I am scared of a lot of thins, which is the easiest way to start a conversation about fear. I am afraid of letting my friends and family down. I am afraid of being alone. (One may be related to the other). I am afraid of interviews. I am afraid of new places. I am afraid of heights. I am afraid of failure. All of these things kind of link together in a lot of places, but in the end, just like everyone else I am afraid.
Today, I embark on a mission to buy clothes. It’s something we all do quite often, or in my case not enough. But, the reason why this ties into fear is because I’m buying clothes for an interview. It’s an open call in just a couple weeks, but I need to right clothes to step up my game a little bit and make them notice me.
I think fear has kept me from just going out and doing this. I’m really afraid of not doing well at this interview, and I’m very afraid of them not choosing me. I’m afraid of wearing the wrong thing or not knowing what to wear. I am stepping a little bit out and going by myself to shop at the mall. I’m more than a little nervous wandering around and pretending to have any idea of what I’m looking for. I will do it, because I must.
I am also afraid of failure, which is part of the reason I quit things before I really have a chance at failure. Failure is this lingering idea. I wrote the other day that failure is mistakes that we’ve given up on. I give up on a lot of things after I make a subtle mistake. I wake up hungover after a good few weeks of going to the gym and then never go again. This tells me two things, I find excuses NOT to do something instead of doing them.
To keep my nerdy references going, or use them again, I think people need to be more like the Green Lanterns. We do not need to have no fear, but we need to have the ability to overcome great fear. A few years ago, I tried to do this. I went to the top of the St. Lois Arch. I went to the top of the Empire State Building. If I had bought tickets, my mom and I would have went up to the top of the Eiffel Tower. The only reason I didn’t go to the top of the Statue of Liberty was because I was exhausted and didn’t want to to take the steps. I’m afraid of heights, but I did all these things.
And that is what I need to do again today. I need to overcome my fears and just go out and try to find what I need and then move on with my day. It’s little things like this that will make overcoming other fears better, and making excuses to not harder. That’s what it means to be a superhero. Doing something even though your afraid. Well, that’s at least one part.
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