If you haven’t noticed, I’m a pretty self-centered person. I write 1,000 words daily about my life and I expect people to read them. When I get notifications, I get a sort of small adrenaline boost that makes me want to do it again. I talk about how I want to be financial stable, and fit, and healthy. What I feel like I should talk about more is my friends.
I talked to Charmaine recently, and each time I talk to her I see how much closer to both our goals we are than when we met. When we first met, we were drinking, spending, and just surviving with a debaucherous lifestyle. It was fantastic for that time in our lives. We were both still growing up, and no matter the age difference, we both had a similar emotional foundation that we have since built up from. We had a miraculous meeting, but that first year was an individual struggle for our place.
Eight years later, we are in completely different places physically, but it feels like we’ve come full circle. We have built really good foundations and are building ourselves up from them. Even with the distance, we’re working together to thrive in the future. It’s a great thing to be working on things you love with your friends.
I feel the same way about Joel. He was one of the few people I called this year on New Years. Unlike past years, I worked so my calling friends was limited. He and I actually met nine years ago in March, and we’ll be celebrating that and his thirtieth birthday in New Orleans. My growth as a gay male is attributed a lot to him. I joke now about all the things I used to say as a naïve kid in South Dakota. I said things like “I will never use the words fabulous or fierce.” I was not effeminate. I was more of a nerd than I was a gay male. There was this need to distance myself from my sexuality as much as possible. It’s probably one of the reasons the many reasons I came out so late.
He’s married now. They are looking for a bigger apartment. They own a car. They have good jobs. He and I somehow ended up with similar foundations in very different ways. He has his relationship and is building his career. I have my career and someday will start building a relationship. It’s nice to see the success of the people closest to me.
I could go on about my friend Andy and his new house. I could talk about my roommate Marc and the book he published. All these people around me seem to be thriving, and it makes me happy to know that I am not the only one. I just need to keep focused and help where I can. (And help more apparently, since Charmaine bitterly yelled at me for not reading her novel. It was cathartic for her, which was nice. I just blushed a bit and kept walking on the elliptical). You can grow alone, but it’s much nicer to do it beside friends. You can share in the success, and bask in the glory together.