As of late, I have somehow garnered an incredibly positive attitude. I honestly have no idea where it came from. I have always saw myself as an optimist, which not necessarily the same thing.
I remember a time when I first moved here that my second boyfriend and I broke up, I remember laying on my bed when a friend from South Dakota called me. We started talking and I mentioned how horribly I felt. He told me things were going to get better, and I told him that I know things were going to get better they just weren’t better right now.
Joel and I tend to have these ups and downs that when he’s in a bad place that I am in a good one. It goes vice versa as well. When I’m in a bad place, he has a positive shine. Since November, I just remember having this upbeat attitude.
I do have some bad moments. I have these moments when I just kind of want to cover myself in a blanket and keep warm beneath it. Or, a customer at work says something that puts me in a bad mood. I’ve even had a bad day at work because of lots of lifting and just a tired exhausted exterior afterward. These are merely like moments that fade a go away.
I would almost equate this to quitting my other job. The pizza place weighed me down. Maybe it wasn’t even the pizza place but merely the management responsibilities I had. I was always there either physically or mentally because of my connection to my phone. I did not have my mind towards the future of what I wanted because every second needed to be part of the business. That has since changed and that’s such a big weight off my life.
It also helps that I’m defining myself and my future more than I was when I was working there. I am writing all the time and doing a job that I really love (for the most part). I love serving people, and I love working in the environment that gives me life.
Especially in these days, I think optimism is important. I remember dating my last boyfriend, and he basically called me naïve for looking at the world though rose-colored glasses. I am hardly naïve. I pay attention to the news. I pay attention to the world around me. It’s horrible, but why would I want to dwell on that. It does me or no one else any good to seep in the shadows of the world. Instead, I just keep on a smile and think of the best.
This optimism has gotten me to where I’m at. I hoped things were going to work out after I quit my job. Things almost instantly fell into place. I broke up with my boyfriend ages ago, and tongs have worked out. If I keep positive, things are going to keep going positively. I know it. I live it. And that’s my plan from here on it.