Rose-Colored Boy

I just realized I had forgotten to write a post for noon today. It kind of depresses me a little bit. I had written this great post about being optimistic and looking at the world with rose-colored glasses. And then I deleted it before double-checking if I posted it.

Well, sigh. I’ll start from scratch.

I am an incredibly optimistic person. I look at the world as if all the possibilities are out there waiting for me to grasp. This is not completely true, of course. Everything in the world is ot open to me for a lot of different reasons. I do not yet have the money to actually spend my life traveling around the world. I also do not have the anatomy to get pregnant. However, I could publish these books I’m writing and make a million. That’d allow me to do both things in some way.

Regardless, I have always seen myself as an optimist. I remember when I first moved here, I had broken up with my second boyfriend. I was laying in bed at the time, and my good friend Andy from SD called and talked to me. He wanted to let me know that everything was going to be okay. My response was a simple one and one that has always stayed with me. “I know everything is going to be okay, but it’s not okay right now.” That as defined a lot of my moments moving forward. If things are not good, they will be. It’s one of the things that my ex could not understand.

My ex used to call me naïve. I looked through the world with these rose colored glasses. Everything was ‘perfect’ and ‘nice’ and ‘rainbows’ and ‘butterflies’. He would demoralize me a lot by making me feel stupid for being optimistic. The world is a horrible place, and he would bring up all these videos of rape and abuse and genocides around the world. I know about these thins.

I know that the world isn’t perfect. There are lots of things that are horrible out there. I know all about them, but I do not dwell on them. Dwelling on the darkness of the world just promotes more darkness. I want to promote a lightness and happiness out into the world. I want to promote a positive outlook on everything to the best of my ability.

Don’t get me wrong. I do have down days, and it always seems like my down days correspond with one of my friends having a good day. They seem to help me out and keep me from going into a really funky place. I have good people in my life to help me promote the positivity that I want to keep.

My optimism keeps me going, even when I’m down I know it’ll get better. And that optimism promotes more optimism for the future. I can’t always be happy. There are times that will be horrible, but I can live like happiness is right around the corner.

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