Not Giving In
One of the things about the hero’s journey is the temptation that the hero has to go through to complete their journey. It’s something that we all have every day, and it’s something we have to work directly against. For the last couple months, I have been on this extensive journey to change my life, and I feel like my biggest temptation is my trip coming up in a few weeks, New Orleans.
I have mentioned a lot of different things on here that lead up to this. I have cut back my drinking. I have changed myself financially by paying off both my credit cards and putting money away. I have worked out every week since the new year. Honestly, I’ve always gave up just seeking sex for the idea of a relationship. It’s such a weird thing to have such a shift. New Orleans is my temptation.
My friend said it best. “You don’t go to a whorehouse for a ham sandwich.” And I am not going to New Orleans just to stand around and do nothing. I am going to have drinks. I am going to spend some money. I will see things. I may even meet a pretty face and take him back to my place to hang out. These are all legitimate in the city. The idea is moderation.
One of the things that I’m definitively learning is to rewrite my story. Growing up, I had all these ideas pushed on to me from my parents. The worst of these things is the fact that addiction plays big into things. The second was just growing up in poverty. We did not have money so when we got it we tended to treat ourselves. This lead to not having money which continued this cycle. The addiction was both with gambling and with alcoholism. I took both those ideas into myself and made them part of who I am. Now, I have broken out of that, and it’s no longer me to slide back into it.
That doesn’t make New Orleans any less a giant pool of temptation. It feels a bit like a demon on my shoulder looking at me and leading me on by a string waiting for me to come to it. It’s a scary idea going back to where I was. I am allowed to be scared, but I’m a new person. I have all these things taken care of, and I have a new life that I am leading.
New Orleans is a bit like the canyon during Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I am standing on one end. I have made the journey this far, but I am now needing to make a leap of faith across to the other side. It’s scary. I could fall. I could end up right back where I was. Or, I can make that leap of faith and be alright on the other side and walk across it towards a new tomorrow and the destiny in front of me.
I’ll do it. I can’t be afraid to take a leap. If you never take it, I’ve already lost. Temptation would have the best of me. And I won’t let the world ever beat me. That’s part of what makes me a hero.