It’s funny being friends with almost exclusively couples at this point makes me feel like the only single gay man in Jersey City. I know this isn’t the case. I have a variety of friends who are also single, but they’re in the tertiary circle outside my close friends group. My friends are all in two to ten plus year loving relationship while I’m sitting here going on two months just loving myself. Everything else is falling into place with work, writing, and finances, but what about the boy-to-be? Where does one go from here?
I have talked in the past about not knowing what I want, and I guess that’s still true. I do not know where I’m headed personally, and don’t have my feet planted firmly. It means if some man comes along, they could derail the steady momentum forward that I have been building. Looking forward, however, I do not have to be looking for someone so much as being open to the possibility of finding someone. The best way to put that is I’m open but not seeking.
That brings to my second very large point my coupled friends continued to ask. What’s my type? This is hard for me to define. They ask me tons of questions from who in the bar at that given moment do I find attractive to what kind of porn I have been watching as of late. Honestly if you define my type by my porn, it’d definitely be Latino guys. With that said, Keiynan Lonsdale has that great smile that makes me a little weak in the knees, and Jonathon Groff gets me going with his adorkable look. The shirtless pictures of the Sudarso brothers on Instagram make my heart melt. And don’t get me started on how I’d like to call Pierce Brosnan ‘Daddy’. So, my type fluctuates a lot depending on timing.
Attraction also takes two people to get involved with it and no one can say it is based on looks alone. If that was the case, I’d never have went home with anyone at a bar. (Kidding, I know I’m adorable). I once found myself attracted to a guy who was dancing to Mariah Carey at a bar. The way he swayed back and forth while holding his vodka soda just made me smile. And I wanted to get to know him. I don’t even like Mariah Carey, but something about that moment pulled me to him. It’s the same kind of magnetism that brought me close to my friends. Everything just fell into place.
Looking at the future and the relative past for that matter, the puzzle that’s always been my life has begun to take shape for the first time. I am writing constantly. I am paying my bills and making money. I may be single, but I have this group of friends who both make me happy and push me to find my happiness. I am meeting new people every day and getting involved in things that I care about. I may be singe, but I’m finding myself in the right places with the right kind of people to find the person whom would slip into my life as someone important. I can’t wait to meet these new people. The road to love is going to be an adventurous one, but I’m open to that adventure. And that is awesome.