Day Fourteen – Project: Fabulous

I have found myself in a very interesting group. They’re amazing people with fantastic lives. When spending time with them and hearing of all the great things on the horizon, it’s almost like a world before a snowfall. You feel the crispness in the air, and you can smell the snow. It’s like the world is going to shift in an exceptional way, and here I am with them for it. And I don’t know my place in it. But, that place won’t be decided today, nor is it what I’m talking about. Instead, I want to talk about secret origins.

My close friend last night was talking about his past in high school, which up until that point I had only bits and pieces. In the end, I just looked at him in even more awe. He ended it with his usual smile and said, something along the lines of, “Ans now I’m a superhero.” The man is inspiring, a leader, and just a kind person. Superhero is spot on.

Our stories are quite different, but maybe that feeling of the oncoming snow is the precipice of my own heroic future blooming. But let’s start at the beginning.

I don’t really have a tragic beginning. I just grew up surrounded by pain. Not the kind of physical pain, that some households inflict upon their children. This was the emotional kind. It tapers into a child’s life from those around him and weathers them before they even know the world can inflict it on them. People not dealing with their own stuff passes on. I was blanketed in this for a long time. That passed on pain led me to layer myself in pain after pain. Somewhere along the way, I started pull them off, until I’m finally where I’m at now.

If you expecting vivid details of pain and torment, I’m not that guy. I understand the people around me did what they can and lived their life how they could. I lived in a different world back there in South Dakota, or even last year.

One step at a time, I pull myself further away from the ordinary and into the extraordinary. And that’s also because of everyone. The people who blanketed me in pain, the family who gave me love, and the friends who gave me friendship all provided a foundation to grow and evolve from. Not to say love, friendship, and pain don’t overlap. It all creates a story that’s mine alone. There’s no need to rush forward to be the hero when I’m already on my way.

It’s all led me to where I’m at. Honestly, the biggest factor to my secret origin is my sexuality. It allowed me to search out friends who identified with me online. It pushed me to move away from home. It’s led me to my current group of friends. Fabulous is my superpower. Everything else just created a good narrative. And that’s not tragic, that’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s just beautiful.

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