Clumsy, Cluttered, and Forgetful

Yesterday, I unknowingly spilled coffee all over my shorts. By the time I looked down at saw it, the coffee had already stained and there as those lovely brown spots trailing their way down my new pink shorts. I felt my face instantly flush at the potential ruination of my shorts. My friendly nicely offered to wash them and conclude that drama, but it always makes me wonder where does this instability of nature comes from.

If you see me in public, I have this wacky ability to hit things like I’m physically too big for my surroundings. I am tall(ish), 5’11”, but it’s almost like my body forgets things. I hit my head on the same crystal almost daily at my friends house for instance. I know it’s there, but here I am walking into it with my forehead.

My friend calls me a baby giraffe. I accepted this at first, especially after a video with a baby giraffe learning how to walk. I’ll drop something or accidentally hit something and turn to see him shaking his head, and before he says it aloud I hear the thoughts of ‘Baby Giraffe’. But even though he gave me the title, he too wonders where it comes from.

He mentions me centering myself in the morning before I leave my bed. I should take four deep breaths and center myself before getting out of bed. Perhaps meditation would help before I get up and start my day, but I think it goes back to my current living situation.

My room is a mess. It’s not dirty, but it’s cluttered. I move around things each morning to even get to the bathroom. There’s no real rhyme or reason to the way things have been thrown together except in terms of space. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that cleaning out this space is constantly in focus, but I have yet to make it a complete priority. Honestly, I don’t have the money for the plastic boxes needed to store my books. After next week, I should be back on track financially to begin doing that.

Cleaning out my room will put me in a different headspace when I wake up. Cleaning up the clutter will hopefully clear out some mental cobwebs. The correlation between cleaning the clutter and being more observant isn’t obvious, but it will help. I organize my surroundings to keep my life organized.

I will not be surrounded by missed opportunities. I will live a bit more spartan with only the things i need around me. It’s by tearing down everything you have around you that you can begin to rebuild. I mentioned ages ago about the fact you have to leave things behind to move forward, and I have left a lot of things in my past to move forward. Now, I am leaving the messy, cluttered, and forgetful me in the past. Someone new is going to come out of all this, but like the changes I’ve already gone through, this all takes time.

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